I Came to Bring the Phunking Pain

Man hands

The strangest part about my job is finding my hands somewhere they're not supposed to be. Like <a href="http://www.slashphone.com/83/5757.html"> here</a>. Those are my hands. The wedding ring is covered by the phone.

I'm working for the website <a href="http://www.infosyncworld.com">infoSync World</a>. We review cell phones, and sometimes report on news in the phone industry. It's a great job, I'm really loving it. I did take the job at the high school, and I worked there for a day. One day. On that day, infoSync, which at the time was only one guy in this country, called to offer me a job. I hadn't started teaching yet. If it was a few weeks later, I would have stayed at the school out of guilt, but it was a professional development week before classes started, so I didn't feel as bad. I've certainly seen teachers back out right before the school year began, and I was mainly an elective teacher, so there was no guilt. The school was really cool about it, too.

Some days I feel remorse, that I'm not a useful member of society helping to fight against the crisis in urban education. Other days I feel wonderful that I was so selfish that I had to do something that really makes me happy, and I go and get a fantastic falafel, of which there are many here near Astor Place and St. Marks, in lower Manhattan. I recommend <a href="http://getchickpea.com">ChickPea</a>. Avoid the Schawafel, it's not as great as it sounds.

I'm not a cell phone geek or guru, at least not yet. I really like writing. I never thought I would get paid for writing, which is probably the first sign of a job you truly enjoy, that you didn't think people would pay you to do it. The second sign? That you don't realize it's a friday until 3 in the afternoon, and then you start thinking about what work you'd like to do over the weekend, which I do every week.

The third sign is free drinks. There are a surprising number of events offering free booze to journalists. There are conventions everywhere - I'm going to be in Vegas in January. Tonight there is a preview show for the Vegas convention, and there will be free drinks.

So, we're a small website, and we do our own photos in house, at our shared office space in NoHo, near the window. I hold the phone in my hand and take pictures. Sometimes, random sites will link to our posts, and sometimes they'll take our pictures and run them. I'll be reading another site, and there are my hands, which is kind of surreal. I like being a hand model, but it doesn't pay well. I'm thinking about getting implants.

Screwing Netflix

I thought I lost Annie Hall. Netflix definitely sent it, I had it here, and then it was gone. Having never seen Annie Hall, I never really knew why people are so ga-ga for Woody Allen (I still don't know). So, do you know what Neflix does when you lose a movie? Nothing. You can volunteer to pay for it, but 6 out of 7 options on the "I lost the movie" page allow you to weasel out without paying, which I did. And they don't charge you, they just tell you to try harder next time.

Then they send you a new copy of the movie you say you lost, which is good, because I never saw Annie Hall. Then I got an e-mail from Netflix saying they received Annie Hall from me. I was caught in a lie by Netflix. I told them I never received it, but they got it back, and it's obvious from the shipping envelope that I had.

They're not mad, they are still sending me a new copy of Annie Hall. A better copy, I hope. One that doesn't leave the party early.

Movies I can recommend:

Oldboy: Korean revenge movie. Very bloody, but very cool. I have really gotten into the Asian film explosion recently. I find the acting to be very charismatic, and I think their stars, with maybe one exception look much more like real people. Real, haggard people who like beating people up with a hammer. Oldboy's director flaunts his love of hitchcock, but the movie is more Tarantino. Great shooting (camera, not gun), great story.

2046: This is not a science fiction movie. I repeat, this is not science fiction. I thought it was when I started, I thought the titular number was a year, but it's actually a hotel room. It's a great, sad, poignant romance set in 1960's Hong Kong. It turns out it is a sequel to a movie I haven't seen, In the Mood for Love, and it didn't make much sense on its own, but I'm not sure that wasn't because of poor subtitling.

Ringu: Can't recommend. I honestly thought the American version was better. It came later, so it was easier to improve on, but I like Naomi Watts better, I like the mood and atmosphere of the American version better. The Asian version stuck to more Asian themes. There is a character who is psychic, and no one even bats an eye at this. I thought the same thing about Ju-On, the original version of The Grudge, but in that case, I didn't really think either version was very good.

Coming up, american classics I never saw. Your homework, 6 degrees between Ziyi Zhang and Kevin Bacon.

Oscar Picks

I see everything, every crappy movie released. I am a movie freak. I have seen every crappy movie out there. Today I saw Ultraviolet, and I'll never have those 84 minutes back.

I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain. I have no interest. Everyone keeps saying: "Oh, it's such a good romance movie, you'll hardly realize that it's gay." Frankly, the gay part isn't what bothers me. I would rather see two hours of gay cowboy sex than sit through a sappy romance movie. I would rather see Gay Unforgiven, or even Gay Young Guns, than see Brokeback Mountain. Maybe its just me.

Here are my picks for who should win the Oscars, not who I think will win.

Supporting Actor: George Clooney. Just because Paul Giamatti was robbed last year doesn't mean he should get it this year.
Supporting Actress: Nothing really strikes me here. Rachel Weisz was the least interesting character in a very well-sculpted movie. Same with Catherine Keener. Nothing illuminating here. And what the hell is Junebug?
Actor: Hoffmann's Capote made me itch, or maybe it was the cast. He's awesome. I would like to see Terrence Howard get it, but I feel like the part was better than the actor in that case. Someone else could have played it just as well or better.
Actress: I'm sorry, I just don't like any of them that much. Judi Dench would get an Oscar for farting in a snuff film, so it shouldn't be her. I liked Felicity Huffman on Sports Night, so give it to her.

Why is Howl's Magic Castle on the animated list? Didn't that come out a couple of years ago? The best animated movie was Wallace and Gromit. Tim Burton is out of ideas.

Directing and Best Film: Crash. Without a doubt. The best movie of the year. It made me gasp at points (okay, one point, but it still made me gasp). Nothing else has come close.